Guilty..
Saturday, April 12, 2008
edit: have undo the editing to block the main text. decided it's a lesson learnt. and anyway it's over now..
kinda uneasy....
cos i'm doing something not right. hmmp.
i'm at Fu's hall, his room now.
the thing started with me telling mummy that i was going to stay over in school tonight. i didn't bother giving any details and she didn't ask me either. but before i was about to leave home like few hours earlier, then i knew she thought i was going to "webcam" oli... oh man, that was shocking la. but somehow i couldn't correct her and the worse was, she most probably gave dad the same wrong reason.
i felt if i had told them then that i was going to stay at Fu's (alone), they would have been so shocked too. so i kept quiet... even when mummy asked "xiuling got go hor?" i ignored the question, pretending to comment on a random scene on the tv drama.
i was certain my parents felt something was amiss but they had no idea what, it's like what xl said before - the parents-childen link or what. sucks... the thought of that made me a nervous-wrack the whole journey to school lor.
mummy called while i was at JE, and said to call her back when i've reached. damn! that was so scary la... i haven't felt that way for years now... ever since i reverted my ways from sec school days hahaha.
i was panicking like...
"should i tell xl the deep shit i've got myself into so she could help me just in case",
"but that's like asking her to lie",
"no, mummy won't do that cos she has complete trust in me now",
"should i just go back home",
"but that's like telling them i was lying straight in the face",
"should i go over to see wils and wx so at least i won't feel so bad",
etc etc.
called her when i reached hall6. she said to call her in the morning when i want to go home or something... so that was it. i wondered how i was to feel. in the end it was "maybe i will get pass tonight without them knowing, and i will still have their trust and i promise i will never do this again". haa
the aftermath: i'm never gonna do something like this again. otherwise i'm gonna give myself a heart attack anytime...
It was a love story @ 23:34
baby,just say yes.
